“As an orphan of an obscure background raised in Scotland and after being “sent down from” [being kicked out of] Eton, I was then sent to Fettes College in Edinburgh, went on to do some University in Geneva, learned to ski in Kitzbühel, before then studying at Cambridge and Oxford and then being swept up by MI5. Because we are good friends, I suppose I can let it slip that this “Michael McHugh” business is not in fact my real name. You might suspect that I only work here at The Wine Company for the Bollinger.